Tenacious D with Dave Grohl – Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
I am complete!

– Jack Black & Kyle Gass –
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
Yes you are fucked! Shit out of luck!
Now I’ am complete and my cock you will suck!
This world will be mine, and you’re first in line!
You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!

– Jack Black –
Wait! Wait! Wait!
You motherfucker!
We challenge you, to a rock-off!
Give us one chance to rock your socks off.

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
The Demon Code prevents me,
From declining a rock-off challenge.
What are your terms? What is the ca-ha-hatch?

– Jack Black –
If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell.
And also you will have to pay our rent...

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
And what if I win?

– Jack Black & Kyle Gass –
JB: Then you can take Kage back to hell...
KG: What?
JB: Trust me Kage, its the only way.
KG: What the fuck are you talking about?
JB: ...To be your little bitch.

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
Fine!
Let the rock off, begin!
Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!
I’m the devil I love metal!
Check this riff, it’s fucking tasty!

I’m the Devil I can do what I want!
Whatever I ’got I’m ’gonna flaunt!
There’s never been a rock-off challenge I’ve lost!
I can’t wait to take Kage back to hell!
I’m gonna fill him with my hot demon gel!
I’ll make him squeal like my Scarlet Pimpernel!

– Jack Black & Kyle Gass –
JB: Noooooooooooooo!
Come on Kage, let’s fight his music, with our music !
KG: There’s just no way that we can win, that was a masterpiece.
JB: Listen to me.
KG: He rocks too hard because he’s not a mortal man!
JB: Goddamn-it Kage!
He ’gonna make you his sex slave, you’re ’gonna gargle mayonnaise!
KG: No...
JB: Unless we bust a massive monster mamma-jam!
KG: Dude, we’ve been through so much shit...
JB: Deactivated lasers with my dick!
JB & KG: Now its time to blow this fucker down!

JB: C’mon Kage, now it’s time to blow doors down.
KG: I hear you Jabels’s, now it’s time to blow doors down!
JB: Light up the stage ’cause its time for a showdown!
KG: We’ll bend you over then we’ll take it up brown town!

JB & KG: Now we’ve got to blow this fucker down!
KG: He’s gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down.
JB: C’mon Kage cuz it’s time to blow doors down!
KG: Oh, We’ll pile drive ya, it’s time for the smack down!

– Jack Black –
Hey Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss!
We know your weakness, our rocket sauce!
We rock the casbah, and blow your mind!
We will defeat you, for all mankind!

You hold the scepter,
We hold the key!
You are the devil,
We are the D!

We are the D!

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
You guys are fuckin’ lame.
Come on Kage, You’re comin with me!
Taste my lightning, fuckers!

– Jack Black –
No!

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
Ow! Fuck!
My Fuckin’ horn!

– Jack Black –
From whence you came, you shall remain,
Until you are complete again!

– Dave Grohl (Beelzeboss) –
Nooooooo!
Fuck you Kage, and fuck you Jables!
I’ll get you, Tenacious D!

—

BRILLIANT :D

Tenacious D in the Pick Of Destiny

nu cred că am scris nimic despre Tenacious D până acum pe blog... o să scriu mâine :D

deocamdată scriu despre film... l-am căutat anul trecut pe odc da n-am reuşit să-l găsesc, chiar mă ofticasem la un moment dat... ete şansa face să găsesc dvd-ul original la flanco săptămâna trecută... 20 de ron... incredibil...

este un musical (duuh) foarte rock, ba chiar metal, deci n-am ce să-i reproşez aici... personajele sunt geniale şi de-a dreptul hilare, n-ai cum să nu râzi la filmul ăsta, decât dacă eşti vreun snob cretin care se sperie când aude la tv cuvântul cock...

există câteva scene absolut bestiale în film, cum ar fi începutul (vezi videoclipul de mai jos), faza cu şchiopul (“come over here so i can stab you“), faza cu “i love you pumpkin” (“big hit in canada“), faza cu Sasquatch (“shake your ass and it will fall off“), the rock off cu Belzeboss (care merită un post separat, mâine) şi când pleacă Kyle să fută tipa (“dude, i was just following the code – sex, drugs and rock’n’roll – in that order“)...

pe dvd mai sunt încă 30 de minute de Deleted Scenes super amuzante, unele dintre ele chiar mai bune decât alea din film... merită văzute... “maximum overthtust”...

filmul este prea scurt şi se termină cam din pulă, prea brusc şi fără concluziune... în rest, hilar şi cu o coloană sonoră absolut genială şi obsesivă...

iată una din melodiile geniale din film pe care o ascult de vreo trei zile încontinuu: (partea lui DIO nu mi-a plăcut la început, mi se părea prea în gamă majoră, dar după câteva ascultări m-a prins bine de tot)...

Tenacious D with Meat Loaf and Ronnie James DIO – Kickapoo

– Jack Black (Narrator) –
A long ass fuckin’ time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But hey there was a black sheep,
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B.
And he refused to step in line.
A vision he did see of
Fuckin’ rockin’ all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align.

– Jack Black (Son) –
Oh the dragons balls were blazin’
As I stepped into his cave.
Then I sliced his fuckin’ cockles,
With my long and shiney blade!
’Twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fucka lie sing fuck a loo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta suck a choad in the party zone!

– Meat Loaf (Father) –
You’ve disobeyed my orders son,
Why were you ever born?
Your brother’s ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more.
This music that you play for us
Comes from the depths of hell.
Rock and roll’s the devil’s work,
He wants you to rebel.
You’ll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.
You’d better shut your mouth,
You better watch your tone!
You’re grounded for a week with no telephone!
Don’t wanna hear you cry,
Don’t wanna hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you’re in my home!

– Jack Black (Son) –
DIO can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone...
I’m askin’ for your guidance,
Wont ya come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre
Who will teach me how to rock.
My Father thinks you’re evil,
But man, he can suck a cock.
Rock is not the devil’s work,
It’s magical and rad.
I’ll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my Dad...

– Ronnie James DIO (DIO Poster) –
I hear you brave young Jables,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock.
Escape your father’s clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world’s most awesome band!
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons.
Now go my son and rock!

– Jack Black (Narrator) –
So he bailed from fucking Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart.
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art.
But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart.
Rooooock!

nota 9 (nota 10 pentru coloana sonoră)

o colegă de la muncă a primit săptămâna trecută o invitaţie la o nuntă care se desfăşoară azi...

pe invitaţie (pe hârtie de papirus, copie) scria:

“fie ca ziua de 11 septembrie să rămână o amintire plăcută în sufletele noastre şi a familiilor noastre”

mă întreb dacă mirii s-or fi prins de ironie...

discuţie academică azi la muncă:

eu: “bah, am auzit un banc genial... cică, de ce se scrie cifra şapte cu o tăietură pe ea ? / că era moise în deşert şi le citea ălora cele zece porunci şi când a ajuns la a şaptea,”să nu preacurveşti”, au strigat toţi ăia: “taie bah şaptele !”
mihai c: “lol... da e corect măcar ? adică chiar aia e a şaptea poruncă ?”
eu: “da mă... nu c-aş fi mare expert, am căutat şi eu pe net, îţi dai seama... da oricum, nu zice să nu curveşti, zice să nu preacurveşti... deci aşa, din când în când, gen o dată pe an, ai voie, te lasă dumnezeu...”
mihai c: “da mah, la dezlegări...”
eu: “da alea nu sunt pentru peşte şi cărnuri ?”
mihai c: “da, păi... peşte şi cărnuri”

ne-am căcat pe noi de râs după asta... :D:D:D

noroc că singura fată din cameră era la baie...

Titanic-Vals

încă un film din seria Birlic... cred că mai vechi, că e alb-negru...

mi-a plăcut prezentarea personajelor de la început şi scena cu pălăria: “400 de lei... 300... 200... 100... gratis mamă soacră, mi-a dat-o un prieten de la amicul lui mort”...

parcă la Telegrame am râs mai mult... ăstuia îi lipseşte ceva, cred că umorul negru de-al de Caragiale...

nota 8.25